Weekly World Thingy: Finest News Source Since Sliced Bread

Editor: William

International News:
All nations except Peru combine into new nation known as "Get Peru"
Neoconservatives Calculate All Cost, Rediscover/Colonialize America
Hot Dogs Adopted As National food of "Get Peru"
Jesus Christ Returns With Marijuana and Music [he did imbibe to the last]
Iran Prepares Second Great Flood for Defense against Aggressors
Georgia Becomes a Church

National News:
Economy in Freakish Shambles
"Buy the Largest Car You Can" Brand Vehicles Goes out of Business
I am Awesome
Gene Therapy Turns Hobo Into Wealthy Man
Enemy Pizza Becomes National Brand Amid Mixes Reviews

PotPourri:
Blueberries Once Again Good
Global Unions Defeated at World Cup
Olympic Stain Lifting
Men Become Of Gods at Olympus [WA] after Arm Wrestling Match
Heaven on Earth: Italy. For Now.

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All Nations Except Peru Join Together to Form New Nation "Get Peru"

LIMA, Peru (FP) -- Representatives from all nations except Peru....